I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
