Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
