hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
