Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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