That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize