I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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