the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
