is your mom at the bar?
one might say we're banned from that church
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
