I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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