I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
