dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
