Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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