Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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