What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
