yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Drake has all the answers
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
