apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My dick has a subreddit
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
