Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
