I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
