How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
