I must be too annoying 4 u.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
