So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize