I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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