just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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