like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
