Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
