Plan B is the new Plan A
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
