I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
