problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
