Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
