That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize