I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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