They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
