omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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