What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
