P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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