I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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