i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my being single is dangerous.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
