He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
