I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The air was thick with penises
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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