it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize