Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Me too!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
