This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
