This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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