i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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