All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize