Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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