WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
