East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just pee around me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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