he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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