Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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