oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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