my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Omg I joined a choir last night...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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