so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
