My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
