wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
