Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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