so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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