I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
