i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
