Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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