I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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