Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
