i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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