It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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