Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
