Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
