Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
