I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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