if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
