I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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