So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
