she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
