we have pet lesbian snakes
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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