BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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