it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
