therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
