So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
