Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
