I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
